headpeople secrets

(215): I don’t think we should have started that trash fire

(863): Good lord, they’ve set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.

Snack Pack

Dad: WHAT R U DOING
Me: I’m eating a snack pack
Dad: SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU ARE DRINKING A SIX PACK OF BEER?

(719): tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.

(248): Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how’s your morning?

(816): Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don’t want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.

(610): I don’t care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.

(405): he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.