txtsfrmlstnght:

(443): the $20 limit for secret santa doesn’t apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20.

(612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

(734): i am exhausted. it’s been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.

(732): I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest.

(708): I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.

(608): I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.

txtsfrmlstnght:

(818): I bet you think you’re really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.

txtsfrmlstnght:

(506): I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

txtsfrmlstnght:

(847): The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it’s like youre constantly getting a blow job.